You worked so hard. You learned artful connection with others. You explored the ways others live within and along the borderlands of your autonomous Soul landscapes. You learned to discern their voices from your own, stilling the cacophony of inner dialogue into a space of gentle calm. You pruned away the poisonous, dead tendrils that conspired to keep you limited and afraid. And then, you so gently, kindly, engaged with the little-one within to deconstruct the inner architecture (some call defense mechanisms), on which the outmoded patterns of fear, guilt, and insecurity suspended for all these many years.
Now, you have reached a point of stillness. And so you close your eyes. And as you do, the screen of your mind goes dark. All thoughts about yourself fall away. I am a mother, child, wife, black-sheep, hero, dreamer, student, trouble-maker, healer, rebel. I am loyal, fearful, sensitive. I suffer from depression, anxiety, insomnia. I have asthma, arthritis, a weak heart. I am Christian, Pagan, a Jew. I love animals. I… I… I. The I voice winds itself down and slowly falls into silence. This is not the silence that warns of a coming storm but the hush of exhaustion after a busy day. The I voice falls asleep. And while it slumbers, the dark screen of your mind brightens. The colors of sunrise swirl, promising a day of vibrant texture. As the I slumbers on, someone opens your eyes. As they open, all senses pop. Intoxicating scents seep through your skin as Earth’s children sing their names and You, the U who opened your eyes as I snoozes on, sing your name on the winds.
This name of yours is not so much a name as an essence. It is U, without the layers of titles, attributes, and expectations you’ve worn on your skin all your life. It is your scent, your essence, distilled and poured into Creation. It is U as Light. It is U as Breath. As you experience yourself in this way, your vision sharpens and suddenly you can see through your skin. Eyes exist on every inch of you. The mystical third eye is U. I wakes soon enough, fill the cup of U with essence of Soul. This is who you truly are.
1. Much is written about the mystical experience, in which the seeker merges with the Holy. It is, in astrological terms, the Piscean dissolution of the drop within the ocean. Mystics of all stripes tell of a Oneness from which we all emerge and someday return. Have you experienced a mystical experience? Perhaps through prayer, meditation, or profound a ha! Moments. Cultivate the mystical. Choose a path and research the great mystics. St. Teresa, Rumi, Siddhartha, Gurdjieff, Jesus. What do their lives tell us about us? What strands of continuity run through their words? Toward what ends do they urge us?
2. Rest your “I” for a moment and feel the edges of your energetic boundaries with your mind. As you do, let them move subtly, with each breath. Aura means breath. When you inhale, allow your aura to expand. Allow the exhalation to contract. You are an auric heart. Expand and contract. Now allow the edges of your aura to dissolve. They melt away as the touch the All. Be in the sensation of where your aura touches the greater Breath.
3. Find Pisces in your astrological chart. In what house does she sit? This placement informs where you exist as Mystic. What planets exist within her home? Then look at the twelfth house. This is the house of Mystery, hidden things, and eternal endings (that are, of course, beginnings). What planets exist within the twelfth house? These are clues to you as Mystic. Explore.
It is time to allow the “I” to slumber while the “U” plays. I experiences as a line, moving through space and time. “U” experiences as a cup, who is filled with sensation. Explore the boundaries of both structures. And then allow those boundaries to melt. For a time, at least, exercise the Knowing that all is One and you are that.